It's Here! My Mandatory Cat Post- Meoooow!

Mandatory Cat Post
A while ago, I was reading a interesting post Dissecting the blogosphere, at the When Your Only Tool is a Hammer blog. It describes different types of blogs and bloggers. I found myself fitting into description of most of them. Maybe this is due to me being diagnosed as having what was known as Mutliple Personality Disorder (MPD) and today is termed Dissociative Identity Disorder ( DID).

Since I am Dr DoLittle today, and have 2 cats, Kiki and Barnie, they have told me that it was time for THEIR post. After discussing the merits of : Owner Worship, Tuna, and the Feather Dancer Toy, the topic selected was: Ways Cats Are the Better Than Those Idiot Dogs.

Sooooooooooooooooooooooo! Here it is…

Ways Cats Are Better Than Those Idiot Dogs

Good Helpers- Lap up any split milk or tuna juice. Way better than a Roomba Vacuuming Robot for finding those dust balls.
Tanning Coaches-They find the best patches of sun for daily naps, even on a cloudy day.
Expert LookOuts- Always on duty at the window watching for the dreaded Naperville bunnies from hell and any feathered critters. If a stranger is coming to the door, they quickly warn you by running away. Just follow the vapor trail to see where they came from.
Bed Warmers- They pick the best spot on my DH’s pillow and warm it up for him. Is it Not their fault that it is 90 outside and the ceiling fans are going. Beds always Need to be warmed, that is what they live for!
Lap Dancers- Ok, another name for the lap dance is kneading. They jump into your lap and knead you before settling down for serious petting sessions.
Teachers of a Foreign Language- When us humans, see a kitty, we instantly speak another language “Awwwl, what a cutesy, wootsy little mee mee baby”.
Yoga Guru - Are you that flexible to touch your tongue all the way down to your butt? Cats are and do.
Team Work - While Barnie jumps into your lap as you sit in front of the computer, Kiki goes under the monitor stand and in back to stick her paws thru the keyboard shelf and slaps at your fingers. They enjoy the shrieks, especially late at night, when it seems a paw is coming out of no where.
Decorators- They are experts in change. “Let’s knock over monitor, flower vase, or just anything to change the look of the room.”
Relaxation Experts- They realize that there is no such thing as a bad time for a NAP.
Bad Karma Ridders- Having a bad day, just pet a purring cat to get rid of the bad karma. It really works!
Best Friend- They are non critical of your old tattered bedrobe, unshaved legs (they really like those) and soft out of shape body. If a cat loves you, than you ARE good looking and intelligent.
Masters of Manipulation- Let’s face it, cats win your heart and then enslave you.

Why Cats Are Superior Fighters Than Dogs - Humor

A Scratching Post

Debbie got mulched yesterday, so as a favor to her (really she gave me some tuna treats as a bribe) I, Kiki the "Bad Newz Kitten" am writing a new post today.

Lucky You!! ….Because there will be No reposting from me. (I like scratching posts better.)

I want to write about something that has been on my mind for the last month and once in the news: Michael Vick and the Dogs Fighting.

With all the Fuss about dogs fighting, I want to make it purrrrfectly clear that “Cats Are Superior Fighters Than Dogs “

Dogs are just wannabees.

Ok , there are Devil Dogs and GA BullDogs .

But the Devil Dogs are United States Marines and the GA Dawgs are something else- those SICK Puppies! (I can still hear THAT howling cheer Goooo Georgia Bull Dogs Woof, Woof, Woof ! And now you have that chant to listen too all day long in YOUR head MurHaaa!!!)

Did you ever notice how many Sport teams are named after Felines?

The Pro FootBall teams seem to like Feline Names alot (I like hacking up fur balls myself). There are : Cincinnati Bengals, Jacksonville Jaguers, Carolina Pannthers and Detroit Lions.

And What about Collegiate Teams? Holy Mackeral! (I prefer tuna myself) There are so many !!!! There are: AMCats, Bearcats, Bearkats, Bengals, Bobcats, Cougars, Golden Bobcats, Golden Lions Golden Panthers, Golden Tigers, Hillcats, Jaguars, Lions, Lynx, Lyons, Maroon Tigers, Mountain Cats, Mountain Lions. Nittany Lions, Panthers, Pumas, Sea Lions (just threw this one in here to see if you were paying attention) ,Tigers, Tomcats, Wildcats (over 32! At the last count- but who is not doing the counting, I am!)

In our other Pro sports there are : MLB Detroit Tigers, NHL Panthers, and the newest team in the NBA is named after a what? Yep, a FELINE!!! It’s the Charlotte Bobcats (I think that ta certain tractor company is getting some royalties somewhere in this don’t you?)

Here are just a FEW things that make Cats Superior Fighters Over Dogs

Weapons -4 sets of SHARP claws that beat Paws Down those doggy painted toenails (yuck!) And here’s something else to think about for weapons of Cat Destruction –Catapults and Cat of Nine tails, as well as our version of the Catomic Bomb-the odor from the litter box.

Really Sharp Teeth- Our Motto is “Bite Me? I'll Go First!” and we sharpen our teeth with steel files (I made the steel files thing up-LOL)

Cunning and Intelligence- Even our “Playtime” is a form of Hunting Practice and we are Republicans Individuals, who don’t hunt in packs. We have learned to depend on our selves. (Correction here, My cousin the Lion does hunt in a pack. But he's the King, so we let him do whatever he wants to do.)

Climbing –We can go up trees faster than our cousins the monkeys. (Going DOWN trees is another blog post) We use the heights to paratail down on our victims.

Hearing- Say What? We have Superior Selective Hearing! We can hear the cat food can opening from miles away, but never, ever, hear you if we don’t want to. We will hear you before you can see us and guess what? We won't bark to give our hiding position away.

Pouncing and Jumping- Our Favorite Effective Form of Cattack!

Sneak Attack- We put the “P” in Patience. Why chase our pry, when we can just hide and wait for it to walk by? (We taught those Navy SEAL Lions a thing or two on SNEAK and Peak)

Hissing and Growling – This is our Sonar Warning System to Scare Off others when we are not in the mood for a fight (My mood right now is catnapping. What’s yours?)

Fast Runners- Can we say Cheetah, one of the fastest sprinters around? ( I call this going Mach Cat One, whoah, just like my fav. Navy Fighter, now retired -the TOMCAT. Hey, another name for a fighter- told yah, so. )

Stealth – We walk on our toes and our feet have thick, soft pads so we can move in Virtual Silence . Not like a clumsy, nail clicking dog. (Oh, yeah, I had a virtual dog once, and rebooted him off the screen in favor of the paper clip office helper.)

Clean –Most Dogs stink and drool. If your enemy can smell you, before he sees you , you’ve lost the advantage of surprise. (but I have to admit, attackers can slip on the dog drool when he’s attacking you, so I will give ½ of a point for drool)

Nine Lives- Dogs have only one life. If we die we come back, and back, and back, and back. Tenacious would be the word but it starts with Ten instead of Nine. (MeOuch on that one!)

Cattitude-We are the Proud Owners of that “ F %#K You in Your Face “ One (Debbie doesn’t allow that real “F” word due to the PG rating of this blog). Remember the word Feline starts with “F”.

With all these Superior Cat Natural Abilities , we know that dogs are the Real “Pussies” of the Fight World. (Pun intended- See we have an awesome sense of humor too!)

I can go on and on about how cats are Superior Fighters, but the bandwidth is only so big and the litter box is calling.

So if you’re gonna pick a Fight or just do some Fighting or just Sing a Fight Song- Be a copy cat and Fight Like a Cat!

So, How'd ya like the post? Should I do more post writing?

Nah, I rather play with the mouse than click with the mouse.